How do i tel ma x-x dat i realy dont luv him bc i stil cantget ova ma x..i fell realybad buti stil wanab frnds

i had been with my boyfriend for 2yrs. he had cheated on me wit the same gurl(which was supposible his friend)4 most the time..i broke it off & some months later i got wit some1 esle thinkin that wit him id get over him..& i was wrong i only causd a problem b/c he ended up fallin deep for me & since i wasnt feelin it i broke it off summonths l8tr .i really hurt him b/c l8tr ma ex was begin me to be with him & since i stil loved him i gave him another chance .we were gewd he had changd so much but i codnt help & get mad when i'd remember wat he did..so i dint wana cause me or him pain so i broke it off definitly i still love him but i noe our relationship wont go nowhere & its really hard for me & ma x-x started talkin to me and tels me he loves me & i say it bak makin him believe i mean it,,im not like that to lie buh i dont wana hurt him more even tho thats wat im doin.ma family loves him & its so much pressure how do i tell him i jus wana be bymyself bc i doubt il ever com 2 lov him.